♡ tiafayexo ♡

It truly amazes me that people can’t accept the way that others think.. 

Everyone who disagrees with you, seems to respond in such a hostile + toxic behavior, for a reason I don’t understand. 

I hate that I still use this stupid blog to write lol………….

So… after years and years of searching (on & off) online for someone who basically created me along with my mother, i’ve actually found him. 

There is such doubt in me that it’s always possible it isn’t him, but i’ve asked him enough questions to prove otherwise. 

What am I feeling? I feel… blank. We ask each other questions to get to know one another, but at the same time it doesn’t make me feel any different. 

This man may be my father, but he has never been in my life as far as I can remember. So technically, he is a stranger after all. A stranger that I don’t mind getting to know, a stranger that i’m not sure where I want him in my life to be. I’m not expecting anything from him. 

I actually haven’t thought things through about this. I’ve always wondered where he is, who he is, how he’s doing? I’ve always wondered if he was actually alive, or if he’s dead. 

Now getting in contact with him…… what’s next? Lol, now what? I’m actually stuck because I seriously don’t know how to do this. 

Let’s pretend for a second that – This man could be pretending or lying about being my father. Would I feel any differently? I mean, yes, that is truly fucked up of a person to do so. But how would I take it? How would I feel? I think it could bother me. But I don’t think i’d be hurt at all, considering I don’t know who my biological father is. He & my mom had split ways before I even turned 2. This man has no impact on me or my emotional feelings about a lost father figure, because i’ve never had one to begin with. 

Anyways, all-in-all…. I’ve decided to just keep an open mind about this, and play by ear. It’s strange, for sure. I just want to know what kind of person he is, who he is, and that’s really it. I’m not looking for any parental relationship with anyone. I have my mother, and seriously, that’s enough for me. 

I think it’s cool to finally meet someone that created me and know more about that side of the family. To see where my abilities come from, to see where a part of me I am from, other than my mom’s side of the family. 

I need to keep reminding myself that life has no limitations. 

I just want nothing to do with anyone lol.